Hi there. I’m Excess. There’s been a couple of ways to describe myself over the years, so I guess I’ll try to mash them together.

“eSports freelancer and bun lover. I spent too much time questioning my achievement completion rate.”

-Twitter


“looks like if s4 and sumail had a kid”


-Some dude on 4chan


“I thought you were a ray of sunshine.”

-Some poor mistaken guy


“I bet you are one of the man first generation canadians who bet america deserved 911 and perl horbor. Very nice! Fuck canadian Feminism, there’s nothing more evil in this world than the current canidan mentality.”

-Hate mail on reddit


“I await to sacrifice lepers to you.”

Starting to think this was a poor idea


“Every time I talk to you it’s just a whole new mindfuck”

-Minecraft co-server host


“If you multiply her Steam hours by minimum wage, you could afford a gently used Aventador.”

-AN ACTUAL ESPORTS WEBSITE. Wow, this About section is depressing, can we not do this anymore?


This isn’t going as planned. Instead, I’ll take you back to when I first started streaming.

I first started streaming in November 2014 at the ripe old age of 13. My first streaming setup lacked some furnishings that many consider to be useful, like a table. I streamed lying down on the floor with my rig in front of me. My elbows remained bruised for a couple of weeks before everyone who dropped by collectively got tired of this and demanded I buy a card table.

Back in the day, I was a Dota 2 streamer, making horrible mistakes and terrorizing the local population. I streamed some local tournaments and qualifiers that the NA Dota community was drunk enough to think that I should participate in (or worse, organize).

Right around that time, I kept burning out stupidly hard and streamed on/off every few months for a couple of years. Playing/streaming every day, between 12-16 hours a day, does that to you. Who would’ve thought.

After I took an indefinite break from Dota 2, I started branching out more on Twitch as a variety streamer. I started streaming my achievement hunting and other masochistic acts. Eventually, I tried to speedrun a few titles in a solidly mediocre fashion. I streamed some Raspberry Pi projects, which went exactly as you’d expect considering nobody even knows programming is a thing on Twitch. I branched out more. I had a few manic episodes. I decided to buy rabbits and have them walk freely around my house. I started sleeping with rabbits in my bed. My sanity is still crumbling away. You know, the usual.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Wait, maybe I can start talking about myself in third person. That would look professional, right? As an esports freelancer I’m beginning to realize that this page would be disastrous for my future career if anyone– hello, person who might possibly have wanted to hire me up until now? How are you doing today?

My start in gaming


Okay, maybe we should go FURTHER back.

Queue when I was a newborn– I slept 23 hours a day, a nurse had to teach my parents how to force me awake to eat so I wouldn’t starve to death or choke–

Okay, maybe not that far.

I was born in 1999 (yeah, Half-Life is older than I am. How does that make you feel?) to two very unassuming parents. My dad was the head of a fairly prominent gaming organization in the early 2000s, so my childhood memories are limited to a few things revelant. My first memory, actually, was watching his guild run the first server takedown of Onyxia’s lair. BTW, vanilla WoW back then was actually difficult; it took people up to 12 hours to succeed. *Old man voice* “BACK IN MY DAY”

Growing up I would hear epic stories of conquest, EVE fleets destroyed, WoW drama, EverQuest raids and an awful lot about Travian, the world’s greatest browser game. I heard about a 14 year old who was one of the best strategists that Planetside had ever seen. I had, like, role models and shit. All these people were living legends to me. My dad would drag me along to IRL meetups, which was honestly a really neat experience. Sometimes we would have random officers and legates from his guild come stay over at our house.

I remember hearing about a guy who played the nose flute. A few years ago, he came to crash on our living room floor. I had a high fever at the time and sat on the couch with my brain slowly melting as people around me discussed EVE Online. (I regret to inform you that he did not play the nose flute for us.)

Hey, I sit with my brain melting as people discuss EVE Online around me today in 2019! It’s funny how some things never change.

Oh yeah, fun side tangent, some of those people I actually ran into on Twitch later. Sometimes we realized it immediately, like if I was playing a game with my dad and they recognized his username, and sometimes I would scare the hell out of a random viewer by going “OH MY GOD (insertusername) YOU’RE THE GUY WHO LIVED IN CALIFORNIA IN 2004! I HEARD BEDTIME STORIES ABOUT YOU!”.

Sometimes it would only dawn on them after having known me for a few months. Once or twice, someone would start getting gross and hitting on me. Then the grossness just gets multiplied exponentially as one of us realizes oh my god you probably knew me when I was 4 years old, what the hell dude, why did you have to do this? Why did you have to make everything so gross and weird?

Needless to say, my entire life has been spent around the gaming community. I started when I was too small to physically sit on a chair, so my dad helped me “play” City of Heroes (I mostly just told him what to do, and stopped when my own character freaked me out). Occasionally, he just left me to run around in Planetside VR. I was about 4 years old on one fateful day, when my dad left to go to the gym and left his WoW account open on his character select screen. I got on his character, sold backpacks full of equipment & purchased a shitton of fishing rods and baubles. I don’t remember this, but apparently I was quite pleased with myself and was thrilled to show my dad when he came back home. He had to express approval in the form of “Ohhh… yeaaah… that’s great…” in order to mask himself dying inside. A lot of hard earned stuff was lost that day.

That was the day I got my own character, “Chatts.” I forced my dad to tame me a bear, who I named Rowley. Rowley was my best friend. We corpsedropped all over Azeroth together.

I could tell you many childhood stories involving WoW, but I think most of them are best shared in a seperate post. All you need to know is follows; one day, I forgot to feed Rowley and he ran away. I was absolutely traumatized, sobbing hysterically, lying on the floor in the corner begging for him to come back. I was completely inconsolable. My poor parents had no idea how to handle this; this situation simply wasn’t covered in their edition of “What to expect”. What do you do when your kindergarten age daughter is lying under the couch bawling and wailing “why doesn’t he love me”?

Around the time my voice gave out, my dad sent a ticket to Blizzard Entertainment asking for the Rowley to come back. They weren’t terribly happy, but a GM eventually relented. We still have a flag on our account.

That is, to date, the most brokenhearted I’ve ever been.

I was a World of Warcraft addict at the old age of 6. My mom begged me to keep it a secret- I thought it was something really bad. In reality, she didn’t want the PTA to think I was failed as a child. I kept it a secret until I was completely overwhelmed and one day broke down admitting everything to a friend and her incredibly confused parents.

I had another best friend in the form of a 9 year old I met when I was 6. One day he disappeared off the face of the earth, and returned to tell me he was playin a game called Warcraft 3, and that it was awesome. Naturally, I begged my dad for a copy, much to his confusion. “You wouldn’t like it, it’s really old” he’d say. Eventually he gave in. We had a bootleg copy of Warcraft 3.

My friend Gloda and I “racing”. I’ve long lost contact with that friend. I like to think that we’ve unknowingly played Dota 2 and raged against one another since.

I think you can see where this is going. We downloaded a bunch of maps to play via LAN. And yes, that included Dota. We played vs creeps. I played Puck, my dad played Tiny.

For his birthday one year, I got into the map editor and filled a USB key with maps I made. Unfortunately, my knowledge in scripting was limited to my dad sitting me in front of VB and telling me “okay do random shit until you figure it out”. I resorted to writing confusing rules that had to be followed manually.

I started branching out to multiple titles soon after.

My life since has been a chaotic mess since, and I have so many stories to share over time.

I’m hoping this website can attest to and record much more than Twitter and Discord possibly can. I want to share much more about my streaming journey, my life, the things I’m going through, My rabbits, my thoughts… everything, really. Even the mundane shit. Just completely destroy the little shred of privacy I have left.

I hope to be able to look back on this website in a few years and think to myself, “Wow, I was a fucking idiot back then”. The thought that I might is incredibly comforting to me. Because that’s how I’ll know if I’ve gotten better.

You can expect more of this over time. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it.

With much love,

Excess

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